[NCDXA] New Membership Brochure - Front Side

[Richard Boyd]

Just looking at it quickly and as a Google document (I guess) rather than
downloading it -- so maybe some format things are "different" when looked
at this way -- it appears the "bullets" (dots) inside the line on the right
should be moved away from the line -- like split the difference between the
line and the text.

And the top line - the motto sort of -- should be reworded.  Here's the way
it is now:

NCDXA – A club with heritage, proven performance, experience
& has been pro-active in leading the way for future DXers since 1972


To not eliminate words, to make it grammatically more correct, you need to
add that word "that" after the ampersand.

Instead of doing that, sticking with the sense of what you have chosen to
say, I might reword it something like this:  "NCDXA -- a club with
heritage, proven performance and experience, pro-active in leading the way
for future DXers since 1972."

Although "pro-active" and "leading the way" seem redundant to me.  Seems to
me an improvement is leaving out "pro-active."

When it comes to that, I would think most prospective members would
consider themselves "current DXers" rather than "future DXers."  I think I
would drop the word future.

Then, tweaking it to a more "headline style," you might leave out the words
"a club" -- and is there a difference in nuance between an "association"
(which is in the name) and a "club?"  Dunno.  But, this iteration might go
like this:  "NCDXA - heritage, proven performance, experience, leading the
way for future DXers since 1972."

Beyond that, it's questioning or tweaking the actual content, the meaning
of individual words.  I don't quite know what is intended by "performance"
in this context, for instance....

- Rich  KE3Q




On Wed, Dec 28, 2011 at 5:30 PM, Bud Governale, W3LL <w3ll at arrl.net> wrote:

> **
> Hi Dave,
>
> I can't find anything not to like about the front page of the New
> Membership brochure!
>
> Its colors are eye catching while at the same time succinctly captures
> all needed information.
>
> HNY and 73,
>
> Bud W3LL
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> *From:* David C <k3lp at yahoo.com>
> *To:* w3ll at arrl.net
> *Cc:* Ben <w4fqt at arrl.net> ; Brian Bayus <n1kc at arrl.net> ; Rick Murphy<k1mu at arrl.net>; Terrance
> Hines <n4zh at arrl.net> ; ncdxa at ncdxa.org ; ANTHONY MC CLENNY JR.<bernie at dailydx.com>
> *Sent:* Wednesday, December 28, 2011 9:33 AM
> *Subject:* New Membership Brochure - Front Side
>
>  Hello Bud (W3LL), Bernie (W3UR) and NCDXA Members:
>
> Please find the attached copy of the New Membership brochure for you
> review and comment.
>
> This will be used as the front page with our Membership Application on the
> backside.
>
> I hope you like it!
>
> David Collingham - K3LP
> NCDXA President
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> NCDXA mailing list
> NCDXA at ncdxa.org
> http://www.ncdxa.org/mailman/listinfo/ncdxa
>
>


-- 

-- 
Rich Boyd
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